Editorial

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND BEFORE YOU PLAN A SECOND BABY

Been there done that, would you take the plunge again. Becoming a parent is a very big responsibility and most couples are in constant dilemma about having a second child. It is a very important decision and couples must always agree with each other, making it a mutual decision.

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Here are a few points that may help you out-

Big Responsibility

You already have one child, so you understand the responsibility it comes with it and not forgetting the sleepless nights, teething issues, colic and so on plus loads of smiles, love,laughter that it brings along. However, if you do decide to have another child, keep in mind both your kids will demand your full attention and double the amount of effort in everything you do. Depending upon the age difference between each child, at times if there is age gap between siblings; it could prove to be helpful and younger one would always look up to their elder sibling. But at times it would get very difficult to handle both the children at once. So if help is available in the form grandparents, then nothing like it because it will be good for a child’s mental and emotional development. Also one can opt for domestic assistance and can seek help from an agency.

Finances

The other most important aspect is money. Are you in a position to provide the best of living to both your kids and also will you be able to support their higher education. It is obvious that you would never differentiate between the two but do sit with your spouse take a decision only after considering your current expenses and savings. It has to be a mutual decision.

First Child

Make sure your first child is ready for this and if there is an age gap it would be much better.  Ideal age gap would be between 3 to 4 years. Constantly talk with your first born to make them feel secure. Also if you are living with your in-laws make sure they spend a lot of time with your first born, because after you had your second child it is only logical even if you try really hard you would be able to give as much time as you did earlier. The husband in this situation has to chip in with regards to time spend with your first born because if you make them feel secure and comfortable life will be that much easier.

Father/Husband

Agreed upon the fact that mother is the one who goes through all the hardships during pregnancy but husbands do play an important part as well. A lot of things that you have been taking care of for a while now your husband would have to step in to take those responsibility. Simply if you have been doing all the grocery shopping pass on this responsibility to your husband now. If your husband has some long business trip planned or is too occupied with some project at work, let him get over with it. He cannot let go his work commitments and you for sure would need him to be there all along.

Family

One thing that never stops in Indian society is constant nagging from within the family first to get married, than have baby and then a second baby as they say to complete the family. You may agree or not but if you have a daughter there would be constant pressure to plan a second baby in hope for a baby boy. But don’t ever get disturbed by such talks. Boy or a girl doesn’t make a difference there are a lot of other points that you need to consider before planning. Plan only when you think you are prepared for another bundle of joy to come into your life.

Would be Mother

Visit a genealogist, go for some routine checkups. If required take the prescribed medication. You need to be in the best of your health as that really affects the baby. The doctor may prescribe a few multi vitamin and some other medicines as per your health report. Always make sure  your husband accompanies you when you go for a checkup.

Children are the gift of god. If you really think you are ready for it and really looking forward to an addition to your family, take the plunge. It has always been and always will be a life changing experience.

Do you have a strange itch down there, problem with your sex life, what do you do? Visit a doctor? Naa.  Knew it. The percentage of people visiting a sexpert is very less. They opt for some tried and tested methods. They never ever talk about this within friends. And would visit a doctor only and only if things have gone beyond their control and it has become a dire necessity to visit a sexpert.

One point that I missed out on mentioning here is ‘Google It’. Online sexpert queries are increasing and google search for any sex related personal queries is quite common. My question today is, does bringing up your queries with an online Sexpert really help?

Firstly this is the most easy and approachable method. You don’t have to be face to face with your doctor and go through what most of you think as embarrassing conversation. For once that is not a bad idea at all. There are lot of online groups, websites and health portals which can provide you with a lot of valuable information about your health problems. Most of the online portals have very renowed and experienced doctors on there panel  who can guide you the right way. And when it comes to sex, it is not only about issues and problems, most of the queries are out of curiosity. Where they come up with general queries like how to best satisfy your partner, erection issues, pregnancy related queries and so on.

To give you an idea, this is one query that I came across on some health portal which was from a 16 year old girl, where she says “I am a 16 year old girl, in relationship with a 20 year old guy. My boy friend insists on having a physical relationship. Can you tell me the safest way to avoid pregnancy?”

Now this is pretty generic query. And obviously it would be very difficult for a 16 year old to visit a doctor for such kind of advice and she finds the online sexpert a big help and would get the best suggestion possible.

Now generic is the word I would like to focus on. Actually online sexpert are of great help but mostly in case of generic queries. Anything that is very person specific, the online sexpert would not be able to help out much and can only suggest you to consult a doctor. Look at a query like this “ I am a 55 year old man with diabetes and have lost the urge for sex. Please suggest some medicine to help me regain my interest in sex”. This is what the sexpert suggested “Diabetes might not be the reason behind your lost sex urge. You need to consult a doctor and go through a complete checkup and counseling session to determine the exact reason also if required doctor would suggest the medicine only after looking at your health.” Now in this case it is very obvious that, looking at the person’s age and health background it would have been very difficult for the online sexpert to suggest anything and complete physical examination was what the online sexpert suggested. Another query was “ My wife just delivered a baby, how long can we wait before we start with a normal sex life” Now here the doctor gave a few suggestions but in the end advised them to see a gynecologist for best result.

Online sexpert are of great help but only for reference purpose. As a few doctors state that a lot of their patients who approach them with there sex issues, had already consulted an online sexpert before approaching them and had considerable amount of knowledge about their problem from them. But because they could not get a convincing answer they decided to visit a doctor.

So, next time you have any sex queries you know that an online sexpert is a good option but do consult a doctor if required.

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