Imagine a situation – imagine is the
keyword here and should be stressed with a high note of intonation – where men
and women are equal. A girl child is celebrated as much as the boy. Kitchen
toys are not a window to her future; dolls are not forbidden for the male one.
When they grow up, they have equal freedom to choose careers. The female
doesn’t face any discrepancy in remuneration compared to her male counterpart.
Her clothes don’t define her character and she is not looked at with suspicion
based on the convenience of the clock.
Even in this imaginary ideal society, it will be a lot easier to be a man. Being a woman is anyway difficult; all the other obstacles just increase the difficulty levels to stratospheric heights. But it doesn’t change the fact that it is always easy to be a man and it will remain so irrespective of the society, economy.
In a path-defining speech on racism in cricket, former West Indies fast bowler Michael Holding says, “History is always written by the conquerors, never by the ones who have been conquered. It’s time we learn their story too.”
We actually need to learn a lot of things apart from the history of the
conquered. For instance, who is strong, or for the matter of fact, what is the
definition of being strong.
There is a misconception of judging physical strength based on just external muscle powers, which is obviously more in an average male but is not absolute and can be attained by a female too after following a regulated fitness regime. We are not even going into mental or emotional aspects as it wouldn’t even require a debate.
The delusion of men being physically stronger also comes from the ideas of external muscle power created by men, just like the writers of history – the conquerors.
A woman doesn’t need to fight a man or a judgemental society to show her strength. A monthly four-five day cycle ensures that she is a born fighter. She experiences excruciating pain a lot earlier and at a far greater scale than men.
The world only sees her struggles outside, which make no mistake, are really tough, but there are no campaigns, no awareness drives, and no proper education for her struggles inside. Not that it will reduce her struggles much but an acknowledgment would help psychologically.
Men, on the other hand, have no way to understand pain. They end up creating wars, fights, combats, and every other means to inflict pain, to understand what it actually means to get hurt. They also developed an art of celebrating scars, celebrating injuries as if they were the hallmark of heroism. Their inability to understand bloodbath without bruises gave birth to the hysteria of treating menstrual cycles like a disease. Women weren’t complaining – they should have - for they weren’t bothered about the power game.
Men, however, must be credited for identifying the means to overpower women centuries ago. That they have somehow been able to maintain similar dominance if not more in the current times that too without any written manual is simply research-worthy.
Speaking from experience, it actually takes a quarter of life for a man to fully understand he has to constantly press for the supremacy tag. Resting on laurels is not an option the natural flow is heavily against them.
This constant superiority complex is perhaps the biggest proof of female power.
An average child’s dominant feeling for the father is fear and it is love and
comfort for the mother. This goes beyond the nine-month process of giving
birth. The father once again knows it is impossible for him to establish a
similar emotional connection with the childlike the mother has by natural
process. He then uses his intimation tactic chiseled with his economic force to
establish himself at a higher pedestal.
The mother, despite being the heart of the family obeys the ‘head’ as she sees the larger picture. She once again weighs the internal factors more. Only she knows, the scars within can have greater consequences. Only she knows it is always difficult to be a woman and it will remain so.